Tidbits and Smiles

As all of you know, I work. I choose to work. I like to work. It gives me an outlet for my creative (and bossy) energy. Also because it helps to pay private school tuition (ouch!). But mainly because when I have stayed home with my kids...in the middle of nowhere...I thought I might just lose my mind.

But know that even in the comfort of my quiet, serene green walled office with no kid-related interruptions, I find myself thinking about my kids...often. I don't think that more than 15 minutes pass before I think of them, or worry about them, plan the time I will have with them, or (on certain occasions when the adults around me are acting like children) wish I was with them.

The best thing (and the hardest thing) about being a mom, is that you never get away from being a mom. I found several kid tidbits at work yesterday that reminded me that I am a mom.

Item #1: The binky
At our house, pacifiers are called binkies. And my sweet Jacklyn is addicted to them. Yes, she is 17 months old, and yes, I should probably wean her of them. But the second she does not have one and is upset, tired, or hungry, her thumb pops into her mouth. Because I believe that pacifiers are easier to take away than it would be to remove her thumbs, I have decided to let her have them as long as she needs them.

Yesterday, walking down the hall of the “Academic Wing” to my very official, very nice corner office, talking to a VP as I walked, I reached into my pocket to retrieve my office key. But instead of my keys, I pulled out a binky. I looked down, realized what was in my hand and smiled. And thought of Jacklyn. And her binky addiction. The VP looked down at my hand, and the item that had my attention, and smirked. He understands, but all I could think was, great Kathryn, very professional…

Item #2: The handprint
Rhian spent most of the summer in my office. I hadn’t intended to work as much as I did this summer, but my responsibilities kept me there most of the season. So with the younger girls at daycare, and Rhian by my side, I struggled to get my work accomplished amid constant interruption. Rhian tried, but really, what is there to do in a boring old office? She was patient and made the best of it, but occasionally, the opportunity to do something else was made available to her, and of course, she was out the door. One day, toward the end of the summer, she told me that when she grows up she is going to be a cowboy like daddy, because my job is boring—apparently all I do is shuffle papers and stare at the computer.

As soon as she started school, I went about ridding my office of all things kid, in order to prepare for the return of faculty and students. Crumbs on the all the chairs, crayons on the floor, the thirteen thousand pictures and doodles stuck with rolls and rolls of tape to my filing cabinet, the half drank cans of pop, the pile of change behind the computer screen, the strange smudges of paint, candy, soda drips and pencil marks on the work-study desk…

As I sat at my desk yesterday, I noticed that I had missed something—a perfect, greasy handprint on the window of my office door. I am not really sure what substance on her palm created the mark, but it captured every swirl to perfection—I am sure a seasoned law enforcement officer could not have been more accurate. As I rose to find cleaner and paper towels to rid my office of the final kid artifact, I suddenly changed my mind. I think I will leave it until one of the custodians notices and cleans it (which will, by my guess, be never). I smile every time I look out…

Item #3 The sunglasses
So I get into my car (or more accurately, my enormous, gas-guzzling, kid-crusted SUV) for one of my first lunches by myself since Rhian went back to school. Ignoring the kid-crust, I put on lip gloss, and try to convince myself that I look glamorous as I search for my over-sized sunglasses. Slipping them on, the world suddenly looks funny and blurry. My eyes focus on the lenses. Kid prints. Elizabeth. I smile once more. I had given them to her to play with the night before as I was desperately trying to keep her happy and entertained in a restaurant. One of her favorite things to do is play with my sunglasses and pretend to be the same glamorous movie star I was pretending to be just moments ago.

I recall reading an interview with Reese Witherspoon (the actress I was pretending to be...) about her self-image since becoming a mother. I will always remember her remark that it is difficult to feel glamorous with peanut butter stuck to the bottom of your stiletto. So true...

Like I said, I adore my girls. It is just very hard to separate the mommy in me from the professional academician I am supposed to be—but I don’t necessarily want to.

After making my rounds yesterday afternoon to collect all of the girls, I smiled as I watched them walking as they always do out of the daycare, one big sister on each side of the little sister, because both have missed her so terribly all day. I snapped a picture of them, just to preserve the tiny tidbit of time before the newness of being together wears off and the bickering begins…

Catching Up...

Peer pressure is an amazing thing...you think that it stops in high school. But then you become a mom, and become friends with other moms, and a whole new type of peer pressure begins...the right schools, the right church and small group, the right after school activities (piano lessons, dance lessons, swim lessons, junior rodeos, 4-H, etc...), the right parenting philosophy. Not that it is all bad, intimidating maybe, but it forces me to be a better mother, and therefore a better person.

Therefore, I have decided to blog. Not because I have any real desire to share my thoughts with the masses on the internet, but because I have succumbed to peer pressure. I am just trying to catch up with the Joneses—or as it is, the Mrs. Joneses.

But to catch you up on what has been going on at our house…

David.

David took four of our fillies to Worland, Wyoming to the Lowry Star Production Sale, August 2nd. It was a wonderful opportunity for us to get our name out to those who seek the Lowry Star bloodline.


However, I was sad to see my babies go. This was the first year in a very long time that I have helped David with the horses (you know, bachelors, babies, masters all got in the way). I did something with those fillies everyday—fed them, washed them, doctored cuts, helped teach them to lead.

I am always amazed at these beautiful animals God created. And ours are especially beautiful. Not just because they are ours, but because David has spent years breeding just the right bloodlines to produce these gorgeous horses. I am so proud of him and how well-respected he is for his hard work and good sense.

I also completed his website (although it is still a work in progress!!!). I am pretty proud of my work, mainly because I have not designed since I was in my undergrad. It turned out nice—very serene and it seems to fit David’s style—not flashy or over the top, just down to earth. Check it out at http://www.ccrossranch.com/.

Rhian.

Rhian started third grade today. I am so proud of her! She is now officially a big kid. She and Elizabeth got up at 6:00 am and got completely dressed before they came downstairs to tell me they were ready for school.

This is will be a tough year for Rhian. She has a wonderful, but tough, teacher this year who will expect a lot out of her. She will have to work hard not to fall behind her classmates. But she will exceed my expectations, as always. She is a fighter. She has proven that again and again.

I am proud that she is so confident. Never really noticing she is different, she is convinced she can do it all—and she can! I was watching her the other day. She had dressed herself and fixed her hair herself—in a spaghetti-strap tank top and a ponytail. The large scar down her back, her “butterfly” ear, and hearing aid showing, she seemed completely oblivious to the fact that she is different. One of my proudest moments. She wants to take ballet lessons this fall. She is different—God made her exceptional.

Elizabeth.

Elizabeth started Pre-K today. I was teary eyed all morning. She is absolutely adorable in her uniform. She is a beautiful child—and I am not being biased—people comment on her beauty all the time. There is something about that chunky little body, curly hair, and round cheeks that is irresistible.

Her daycare teacher has cried for three weeks because Elizabeth is going to “big-girl school.” (I cannot thank God enough for Delaware CDC—they have been wonderful to my girls—Elizabeth has flourished there.) Her teacher keeps telling me she is incredibly bright (as if I didn’t already know) and very kind to all around her (if only I could get her to be so kind to her sisters…).

At some point, I actually must admit it may have already happened, she will be smarter than me…much, much smarter. She has David’s amazing memory—she remembers everything. This is an incredible advantage in the outsmart mom game—I have to stay on my toes!

She was already bossing two classmates around this morning before I left the Pre-K classroom. Someday, that strong-will will serve her well, let’s just hope both of us survive her teenage years…

Jacklyn.

If ever there was a pretty baby, it is Jacklyn. She is really beautiful—but more than that, she has a beautiful spirit about her. Strong-willed, yes, but sweet, and snuggly and giggly—what more could you want out of a 17-month girl? She is wonderful.

She said “juice” for the first time two days ago, and has mastered the word “No!” Although, I think if she could just sign everything, or if I would let her, she would never learn to talk. She happily babbles, but seems to have no desire to form words…

The remarkable thing about Jacklyn is her dancing. That child dances all the time to any music available—commercials, silly little songs from light-up toys, it does not seem to matter to her. And she is really good and has amazing control and balance! She will definitely have to take dance lessons. If she ever grows that is. Elizabeth has always been small—but Jacklyn is very small—and skinny—but oh, so lovable and squeezable.


Me.

I am still at Oklahoma Wesleyan University (yeah!), now working as the Director of Academic Assessment. I like my job. I get to be bossy. I work with an incredible group of people who are wonderful mentors for me. However—I have found my true love—the classroom. With several classes under my belt, both traditional and AGS, I now know for sure that I would love to teach full-time someday. I am teaching a section of Formation of the Christian Mind (Freshman Orientation) this fall and I am really excited to get to know some of the incoming Freshman. I had a great time teaching traditional students this spring—once again, I have to stay on my toes!

I have a new group of friends from church, Grace Community Church in Bartlesville. And I am super excited. I have a lot in common with several of them, and I have not laughed as hard as I do with them in years. They are wonderful examples of how to be godly wives, mothers, and friends (that good peer pressure I was talking about). We just went on a “retreat” this weekend—it was actually more of a grown-up slumber party. We had so much fun! And I think we all needed the break from our kids and responsibilities. But more importantly, we had time to get to know one another better—and hopefully for me, create new, strong friendships!

What else? I know I have forgotten something…but that is the wonderful thing about blogging—it is not like a letter where you have to make sure that everything is included on the first try. Obviously, the girls inspired the name of my blog. Their favorite outfits are dresses with boots. I always laugh because it is the perfect blend of me and David. I suppose the name of the blog could also be read like a Native American name “Dresses with Boots…” LOL. But my name would more appropriately be—Woman Who Adores Her Three Strong-Willed, Beautiful Daughters And Cowboy Husband, And Who Works In An Office But Pretends To Be A Cowgirl And Has Lots of Crazy Dreams And Loves God…etc, etc.

So for now, that catches you up...